#203 Geological Influences

A couple years ago about this time, Kelly started his GIS career with the Indiana Department of Environmental Management.

I thought on his last day (yesterday), he might sneak out a little early, but no. I walked into his office at 4 pm to find him still working away. So I assume this means the environment remains in need of attention. Kelly’s colleagues entertained me while he checked the last items off his list.

It seems Kelly has been surrounded by geologists for these two years and I can say now with certainty, they’ve not been a good influence. They’ve encouraged him to fall off the wagon back into the abyss of rock collecting, so it’s left to the sane person in our family (me) to explain why we’re not moving any rocks from Indiana to Virginia - just like we didn’t move any rocks from Kansas City to Indiana.

I have repeatedly assured Kelly his rock collection is still safe on beautiful 67th Street back in KC under Glenna’s care. I thought I’d turned the corner in his rock rehab, then the IDEM geologists happened and now he’s teetering.

Our walk home through downtown was delightful, cool and breezy. But upon our arrival at home, I witnessed Kelly retrieve what appeared to be two fossil-laden clastic sedimentaries from his back pack. Not good.

So yesterday, Kelly’s IDEM career came to a close, but the effects linger.

Yours under the influence of geologists,
Mary

#202 I Walked Right Into It

I walked in to work one day last week on a beautiful day across downtown Indy. It was my last day to commute by foot and I was sad. Indy has given me a great opportunity to walk - when I chose - the mile or 1.5 miles to work.

On my way in, I dropped 3 letters in the mailbox, recycled a sack of paper at the O’Malia’s drop-off, and returned a book and video to the library. I’m used to doing these things – all on the way.

I smiled at the man who walks to work along Ohio Street each morning. He did not smile back. He has no arms and I spent a few blocks thinking about how I’d manage in his situation.

I passed the Paradise Café – a new restaurant on my route and where I planned to have lunch that day with a colleague. Indy’s downtown breakfast/lunch selection is A-1!

I picked up a plastic bag drifting over the sidewalk near the bus stop where lots of people were waiting. As I threw the bag away, I thought about the new law in California banning plastic bags at grocery stores – a good thing.

I passed the statehouse where the legislature just finished up their work for the year. The parking meters were all still hooded for their use. I wondered why they couldn't use the state parking garage. Too far? Too full? I am happy with their decision to increase the cigarette tax to fund health care.

I looked up at the state library as I walked by and wondered what I could have done there to make a bigger impact.

I passed the government center building (shown below) that is home to IDEM, Kelly’s office, and the cafeteria where we often met for lunch. Sadly, Kelly is giving up his IDEM job soon – a job he has enjoyed with people he will miss.

I crossed the downtown central canal and stopped to look at the people already walking there and the guy trying to ride his bike up the big green grassy slope. Soon there will be a building there. There’s a big yellow sculpture further north and past that the Buggs Temple will open soon for dining and for frozen yogurt at the north end of the canal. I’d like to try that sometime.

I entered the historical society on my last day of work to find a sign that reads “Today’s Events: Institute for Study Abroad.” That’s the name of Butler U’s office for study abroad. Perhaps I should go introduce myself at their meeting.

And that’s my transition from Indy to Charlottesville. I walked right into it.

Yours in locomotion,
Mary

#96 Dr. Ben Gontolong

Upon returning to the Indiana Government Center, I found my old office occupied by a “new” employee, Dr. Ben Gontolong. According to his office accoutrements, Ben is laden with employee awards, hangs with celebs, travels the world doing good, is loved by all, and was vacationing in Darfur when I returned. I was anxious to meet the guy. Since he’s a stickler for efficiency, in my absence, Ben moved all my office stuff out into the hallway for all to see. What a guy.

But just one day later, we received this email from Ben:

From: Dr. Ben Gontolong
Subject: Dr. Ben Gontolong signing off from Darfur ...

To my formerly esteemed colleagues at IDEM: After consultations with His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama, the spirit of Mother Teresa, Oprah, and Al, it is with considerable regret that I, Dr. Ben Gontolong, do hereby announce my immediate resignation from my esteemed position at the Indiana Department of Environmental Management.

My humanitarian aid trip to Darfur has made it clear I am needed here more than in the Heart of Central Indiana. As I will not be returning to the Crossroads of America, please donate to charity the contents of my extremely uncluttered office. I will expect you to forward the donation receipt to my attention here in Darfur as I will need it for my tax returns. (My accountant is very picky and I cannot afford any hint of impropriety).

Also, I have recently received an important email from a Barrister Hokmu Nomombi who needs to permanently deposit the sum of USD $2,000,001 from the unclaimed account of a local deceased sultan without next of kin into the bank account of someone he does not know in America. Therefore, please forward your bank account number (and PIN) to me here in Darfur as well.

Thoughts of my empty office back at IDEM will haunt and hinder my humanitarian aid efforts here in Darfur, so please find a new occupant who can move in immediately if not sooner to carry on my legacy of patriotism, environmental cleanliness, and celebrity hobnobbing.

Yours in Darfur,
Dr. Ben Gontolong drbengontolong@yahoo.com

Even though I missed meeting Ben, it’s my honor to sit in the same office he once occupied. It’s only a matter of time until a bronze plaque will mark this spot. Thanks, IDEM, for covering for me while I was away and for welcoming me back in the IDEM tradition. You rock!

Yours in Indiana,
Kelly

#51 Pirates in the Strait of Malacca?

It’s a good thing Kelly had such good pirate training at IDEM before we left Indiana! This afternoon, while we’re making our way from Singapore to Myanmar through the Strait of Malacca, we’re reportedly in the greatest danger from pirates.

So much so, passengers have been recruited to stand watch for pirates. And Kelly, feeling especially confident from his in-depth training, eagerly signed up for the 1600 to 1700 shift.

Had he spotted any craft approaching within 100 meters, he was instructed to yell into the two-way radio “Security, Security, Pirate Approach, Pirate Approach.” We learned earlier on our bridge tour that one crew member is always scouting visually in addition to the radar systems. Kelly reports that in the 1600-to-1700 time slot, the Black Pearl failed to emerge from the mist.

Yours in wondering if Captain Jack Sparrow is in the neighborhood,
Mary

#5 Never Pick Up a Tarantula

“Be very, very afraid. When you leave home, grave danger awaits. You might be mugged; attacked by scorpions, piranhas, or tarantulas; trapped in a falling plane or elevator, a runaway train, a sandstorm, a riptide, or a riot.” But now we’ll be safe, because our IDEM friends gave us a copy of The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Travel, so we know what not to do: never pick up a tarantula and don't yank the reins of a runaway camel. And if a leech invades our air passage, we’ll gargle with a 50% solution of 80-proof alcohol and we’ll remember not to inhale.

Thank you, IDEM, for your concern, your good wishes, the candy-filled weapon, the penny architecture kit, the palm trees, the Treasure Island video, and the scrumptious send-off!

Yours in hoping we never need that survival handbook,
Mary